Self-confidence Problems

Self-confidence Problems

What are self-esteem problems

Before moving on to the subject of self-confidence, it is important to understand what self-confidence is. Self-confidence is the state of being at peace with oneself. A self-confident person loves himself/herself, considers himself/herself sufficient in many areas, is aware of what he/she can do and supports this situation with his/her behavior. Self-confident individuals are at peace with themselves and have good relationships with their environment. Self-confidence begins to form in our infancy within the framework of the good relationships we establish with our family and continues in the later years of our lives.


However, some people have problems with self-confidence. Although the causes of these problems, called lack of self-confidence or low self-confidence, are generally caused by the influence of our environment in childhood, there is a shock reason.

Causes of lack of self-confidence

Self-confidence begins to form in our childhood years with the behavior of our family and environment towards us. If individuals are exposed to behaviors or events in their childhood that undermine their self-confidence from their families, deficiencies in their sense of self-confidence arise. Experts point out that children who do not receive love from their families between the ages of 2-6, who are not allocated time and good relationships and who are constantly compared to their peers, experience self-confidence problems in later ages.

Here are some of the reasons why we have problems with self-confidence:

  • Receiving constant criticism and reactions from your family during childhood, such as “you can’t do it, you can’t do it”
  • Being overprotected by your parents while growing up and having your freedom of movement restricted
  • Problems arising from your parents’ divorce
  • Breaking up with your boyfriend/girlfriend, being cheated on by your lover
  • Fear of failure as a result of failing in a job or situation
  • Making a big deal out of life disappointments, break-ups, failures, etc. and getting stuck in these situations
  • Criticizing ourselves harshly

Individuals begin to think that their failures are their own destiny due to the reactions and criticisms in childhood and the failures and negative situations experienced in adulthood.

Symptoms of self-esteem problems

People with self-confidence problems accept defeat from the beginning. People who lack self-confidence claim that they cannot or will not succeed when they have a job to do or when they face a negative situation. They argue that they are not capable of doing a job that everyone can do, and they keep themselves in the background.

Individuals with self-confidence problems generally tend to accept every criticism made against them. They even criticize themselves more harshly than others.

Making decisions is difficult for those with self-confidence problems. They give more importance to what others think rather than their own thoughts to make decisions.

Individuals who lack self-confidence hesitate to enter new environments. It is more difficult for them to make new friends and to speak in an unfamiliar environment than other people.

Ways to overcome self-confidence problems

What can we do to increase our self-confidence?

•First of all, focus on loving yourself more. Every individual is unique. Realizing our own worth will change the way we are valued and treated by the people in our lives.

•Do not criticize yourself constantly. No one is perfect. Everyone can make mistakes. Even those you see as perfect and faultless can make serious mistakes.

•Try to learn from your mistakes, but don't make it a world-crushing issue. People grow by making mistakes and learning from them.

•Set small goals for yourself. Setting big and unattainable goals will increase your failure rate. These failures will lower your confidence in yourself. However, the small goals you set will carry you to success more easily, and as you succeed, your self-confidence will be restored.

•Self-confidence problems may stem from our circle of friends or our personal life. Perhaps one of the things that causes your self-confidence to drop is the negative behavior of the people around you. Dare to get to know different people. Remove people from your life who drag you down and let in people who give you the value you deserve. Being with people who value you will help you to increase your self-confidence.

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