Jealousy and excessive jealousy
What is jealousy like
Jealousy is an emotion that individuals feel as a result of not trusting a person they love, not wanting to share them with others, or not being able to attract a characteristic, an object or a person they see in others because they do not have it. Jealousy can be against a person, or it can be caused by a person, animal or object. It manifests itself in forms such as envy, envy, jealousy, and not wanting to share.Jealousy is generally seen as a sign of love in society Although there are cases where it is due to love, jealousy is usually caused by reasons such as fear of loss, desire to possess, desire and longing for what is not their own.Jealousy is an emotion that can be considered normal up to a certain point. Every person can feel jealous from time to time. This could be jealousy of someone who gets high grades at school or jealousy of someone who is in a better position at work. However, too much jealousy is very harmful. Excessive jealousy harms both the individual and the other person. While jealousy is an emotion that will not cause problems if it is a situation that individuals experience within themselves, it is a harmful emotion if it is reflected in their relationships and causes problems with the other party in relationships.
What are the Causes of Jealousy?
Jealousy is an emotion that can arise for many reasons. Jealousy may arise as a result of an event experienced by individuals or as a result of an emotion or thought problem that they cannot cope with within themselves. The causes of jealousy are as follows;
•Individuals do not trust the other person: Trust issues can arise as a result of an event or a personality trait of individuals without a problem. On the other hand, if a person has experienced a traumatic event in the past, such as being deceived or abandoned, they are likely to experience jealousy in extremes. •Lack of self-confidence: Individuals with low self-esteem perceive others as a threat and think that they are better than them, see themselves as inferior and become jealous of others. •Being made to feel inadequate and worthless by the other person •Over-attachment in relationships •The instinct of not wanting to share what you have with anyone •Distorted thoughts in the mind as a result of alcohol and drug use •Psychological disorders such as schizophrenia
Problems of Excessive Jealousy in Relationships
Jealousy is one of the most damaging issues in bilateral relationships. The problem of jealousy between partners causes major problems in relationships and sometimes even the end of the relationship.
Jealousy problems in relationships usually occur as a result of partners being jealous of each other from other people, especially from their same-sex partners. When this jealousy is excessive, arguments, verbal and psychological violence and, in some cases, physical violence may occur in the relationship. In some relationships, the problem of jealousy may also arise due to excessive attachment. This situation causes the person who is afraid of losing his/her partner to be jealous of his/her partner in everything.
When one of the partners in a relationship feels inadequate, this can also lead to jealousy problems. Individuals who think that their partners are superior to them start to be jealous about the things they lack, thinking that they are not enough for their partners.
Getting rid of envy
Jealousy can be overcome with the efforts of individuals and the support and help they receive from their environment. In order to overcome jealousy, it is necessary to know what the jealousy stems from. If the feeling of jealousy stems from individuals’ lack of self-confidence, then it is necessary to solve the problem of self-confidence. Self-confident individuals trust themselves and are aware of their own value and capacity. For this reason, they do not envy others. They take the good qualities of other individuals as an example for themselves. It will be useful for people with jealousy problems to try ways to improve their self-confidence in order to solve this problem.
If jealousy stems from the insecurity of the other person, they should talk to that person about the behaviors and people that cause jealousy. People usually prefer to keep the issues they feel jealous about to themselves or to tell the other party by fighting aggressively. It is best to talk calmly about what is causing the jealousy. This way it is possible to find a middle ground. Transferring jealousy to the other side in an aggressive way, by fighting, will lead to the deterioration of bilateral relations and bigger problems.
If jealousy is caused by problems such as excessive attachment and the instinct to possess what one does not have, individuals can seek help from an expert on these issues. Over-attachment and the instinct to possess are emotions or actions that individuals usually feel or take without realizing it. Since individuals are not aware of this, they do not make an effort to correct this situation. In cases where they are aware of it, they cannot succeed in preventing these feelings because it is an instinctive situation.
If jealousy is caused by an event that individuals have experienced before, then it will be useful to get help from their environment to overcome this problem. In cases where the support and help of loved ones is not enough, it is better for individuals to apply to a specialist. Thus, the problem of jealousy will be overcome and individuals will be able to establish a healthy relationship and communication.
EMDR Therapy is among the effective and powerful methods in overcoming and treating feelings of jealousy. EMDR Therapy is an effective method not only in the management of jealousy, but also in the control of out-of-control emotions such as sadness, anger, anxiety, etc., and in removing the mortgages that our emotions put on our lives.